Are you sure you want to be a Texan?

A recurring scene in my life: I am asked for my ID.  I hand it over and they immediately spot the Texas logo.  Always the same response: “We get tons of Texans around here.”

I’ve had ID’s from other states, and was never ashamed.  Upon seeing those ideas the responses were, “I love [Colorado / Arizona]!” or “You’re a long way from home,” or “what brings you here?”  With those ID’s people were friendly and interested.  Now they just end the conversation as soon as possible.  It turns out everyone has seen Texans before, and nobody likes them.

I don’t hate everything about Dallas.  I have made some good memories here.  But within 5 days of moving I knew I had made a mistake, and it had nothing to do with the “heat and humidity”.  What bothers me is something unnamed, something that I suppose would fall under the category of culture… lots of little things that quickly add up.

It’s the Texan women constantly nitpicking me (“Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to wear white shoes before Labor Day?”  Nope, my mother was too busy teaching me things that actually matter.)

It’s the men who treat me like I’m worthless the whole day, then insist on holding the door for me on the way out, as if that’ll make them gentlemen.

It’s my Texan cousins that gave their 5-year-old a gun for Christmas and don’t believe in dinosaurs.  My clients who always try to discuss politics during business meetings.

It’s the never-ending potlucks where everyone brings the same recipes over and over, dripping in mayonnaise and lacking any semblance of flavor.

It’s the lack of sidewalks and bike lanes, it’s watching cars roll right through cross walks when kids are in the road.  It’s the ever-present state-of-denial attitude that Dallas is perfect the way it is and nothing could possibly make it better.

It’s the general tendency of people to talk at you, not with you, the lack of night life, the lack of open-mindedness, the bitterness that people carry around with them for no apparent reason.

When I relate these observations to my non-Texan acquaintances, they act like they already knew.  Why didn’t they warn me?  What does heat and humidity matter in the face of these preposterous attitudes that people have?

I don’t want to offend any Dallas-lovers out there – obviously some people enjoy living here.  I just want to put my opinions out there for anyone considering a move to Dallas, because I certainly wish someone had done that for me.

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